Tonight I will sleep with a gun in my mouth

goodbye

2004-03-10T04:28:05Z

ive decided to keep one livejournal..and i really couldnt decide whicho ne so i made a new one..

loverandagun

it will befriends only.. so add me and maybe ill add you
good bye
<3

xstars_will_cry @ 2004-03-08T18:54:00

2004-03-09T03:02:34Z

i need more people in my new lj.. aloneinsadness ..

please..ill love you forever <3

.,,another new s.n..

2004-03-08T22:40:17Z

loverandagun

new sn

ADD ME !

just wanted to say..

2004-03-06T17:07:44Z

just wanted to say

military ball .. in 7 days.. : ]

me and martin going clubbin.. ! <3

woo hooo

2004-03-05T02:25:28Z

You are a Summer Kiss! You love showin your boy
off... especially when you both can chill
outside with your shirts off...

What kind of Hot Boy Kiss are you??
brought to you by Quizilla

xstars_will_cry @ 2004-03-03T20:29:00

2004-03-04T04:42:16Z

school went okay.. lol. umm same old same old.nothing new sux

i went to the library today..got 3 cds
something corporate - space
dashboard - a mark a mission a brand a scar
interpol - turn on the bright lights.

i also got 2 books ' a walk to remember' and 'junie b. jones is finally a first grader' hehe im such a little kid.

.. somethings never change...

xstars_will_cry @ 2004-03-01T20:36:00

2004-03-02T04:44:46Z

i got my miltary ball dress and my shoes and my aunt got me a bracelet and some earings as a celebration for going to my first big formal dance <3 awesome huh

I MISS GABBY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.. SORRY I DIDNT PUT HER IN MYOTHER JOURNAL ..SO I I MADE HERE JUST FOR HER ! <3

..i need a life..

i remember waiting..

2004-02-27T04:44:36Z

"The Saddest Song"

Only two more days, until your birthday
Yesterday was mine
You'll be turning five
I know what it's like, growing up without your father in your life
So I pretend, I'm doing all I can
And I hope someday you'll find it in your heart

To understand
Why I'm not around
And forgive me for not being in your life

I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Remember waiting there to find nothing at all
I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Waiting there to find nothing at all

maybe someday
you really get to know me
not just the letters read to you
I pray I get the chance
To make it up to you
We got a lot of catching up to do

So I pretend, I'm doing all I can
And hope someday you'll find it in your heart

To understand
Why I'm not around
And forgive me for not being in your life

I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Remember waiting there to find nothing at all
I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Waiting there to find nothing at all

Forgive me!
I'm so sorry!
I will make it up to you....

---------------------------------

song of moment
i love my daddy <3

daddys little girl
<3
laua

new lj

2004-02-26T02:52:21Z

new lj. aloneinsadness

friends only though sorry :/

i wont update this one as much but ill still update

mucho love peoples !

<3 laura

this all was only wishful thinking ..

2004-02-23T01:50:41Z

woah i only got 6 hours of sleep and i kept waking up every 2 hours. i felt all scared and worried..it really sucked. i didnt liek that feeling..

i got bangs.. i got really spontaneous and was like.. I WANT BANGS ! WOO .. so my mom cut them and i look like lydia from beetle juice.. im getting my hair cut on saturday or sunday..and my mom wants me to dye my hair black..so im going for it ! lol i wanted it burgundy but black is okay.lol

martin got his military ball tix ! yay! i get to see all my rotc friends. i miss them all..i miss rotc a lot !especially senior chief and chief! they were like my second parents :(

.. i feel all alone...

and all the roads that lead us there are winding

2004-02-22T07:31:11Z

.. i love him more everyday...

edit: i cant sleep its fucking 1 30 and i cant fucking sleep. today went by so god damn bad. i feel so bad w/ wat happened.. and not just w/ me..and with whoever it involved..i didnt mean for it to happen. im reall sorry...

dotn stop loving me cus i wont stop loving you.......

2004-02-20T02:00:05Z

first day at silverado was pretty..cool ! i met some cannon kids in my science class.. umm josh larry austin koda(i think i spelled her name wrong..sorry).. so yea austin looks like felix but white. !!! that hella cracks me up ! but yea i dont like the school much but i like the people i met. theyre cool

i miss martin.. i miss him a lot.. gosh school is so different w/o him by my side. i need him to hold me and hug me i miss him too much. i cant wait till tomorrow so i can hug him and kiss him and grab his butt :) i <3 martin

i LOVE the movie donnie darko !!!!!!!!!!! woo

im outie

.. i hate my life

2004-02-19T02:00:06Z

.. so yea.. not much going on ..

other than my mom decided to transfer me to a new school :/. ahh silverado. it sucks..but oh well ill be bak at chapp next year. ahh it was the hardest thing to say bye. i cried everytime i said bye to someone. it was prbly the hardest to say bye to chief and senior chief. theyre like my second parents.i love lashawna and samaria .. they threw me a party :) we had a cake fite. im gonna miss unarmed so much.. ah im gonna cry this really blows !!! ah shit ! okay so yea.. thats wat has happened lately.

o and we got 3rd place at quad navy for exhibition :)

...lets not say good bye...
- laura -

<3

i will do most anything to get you bak by my side....

2004-02-05T01:00:08Z

woo its been crazy.. w/ practice and today was ami.. i did good though :] enough of that.

i have martins leather jacket. IM SOO AWESOME :] i look so cool in it tee hee.. !

i think im sick i may have a fever :/

i think im gonna listen to every single music file on my computer.. im just too bored :/

im now listening to 'his kiss of dead compassion' by a life once lost. hm theyre a good band i think its one of the ones that tj told me to listen to bak on new years . props to tj !

i wanna talk to martin i miss him i only got to see him for like 2 minutes today :(

i would just hate to break your heart..
<3
laura

big fish rules

2004-02-02T00:42:42Z

They say, when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.
-big fish

best quote ever

yay

2004-02-01T03:50:43Z

we wont bonanza invitational. well color guard won 2nd place for regulation.. armed.. i dont remember and unamred won 2nd place regulation and 1st place exhibititon..and our school won first place inspection.. the kid in bak of me fainted and almost broke his jaw cus he faitned and hit his jaw.. it was scary he landen rite next to me he started shaking and screaming and i started crying..i couldnt hold it bak .. bad me... but all the judges were to worried cus of the kid that fainted i could stop my tears.. and i just sat down cus omg it was hard standingin there it was the longest i had to stand..

.. i went to martins.. hes the sweetest boy ever.. :)

pumped up !

2004-01-30T04:51:55Z

woot woot !

bonanza competition tomorrow ! wishe me luck. im so pumped up. my uniform is ready my shoes are fucking shiny i got to shine em in class it was fun. they look like freaking cora frams :]. cant wait till saturday !

thats all for now... update more saturday nite..

<33
laura

sh sh shaken up

2004-01-29T05:07:18Z

hmm i really liked my essay in english 'my first semester of high school' but im not gonna bore you w/ two of the long paragraphs im only gonna write the good parts. and the intro and last paragraph and 2 in between.

My First Semester Of High School..
My first semester of high school was good. It went a lot better than i expected it to. It had a lot of suprises. It also had its ups and downs. Overall it was an awesome first semester.

(( 2 boring paragraphs i dont want to put in here cus their long ))

I've met alot of people in my first semester of high school . One person that really sticks out in my mind would have to be my friend tj . Some of my friends knew him before i did and they always talked bout how cool he was.When i got to meet him i though wat every girl probably thinks when they meet him hes 'cute' and nice. I got to kno him more and we talked on line and in the algebra 1a class we had together and had a lot of things in common. We became good friends. I can trust him a lot and i kno if i need to spill my guts to someone i kno hes the one to go to. He's a great person and a great listener. Hes such a great guy he deserves everything good that happens in his life.

Another person that i met in my first semester of high school was Kelly. Shes a senior and i met her in my theater 1 class. Shes and amazing person, who loves to be fun but shes serious when she has to be. Shes always making sure im doing my homework and having good grades. Shes sorta llikea big sister to me. Shes always with a smile in her face and brings a good mood into the room. I look up to her because she is a great person and is serious bout school and her future.I kno shell do good in the future.

My first semester of high school was fun. I met a lot of great people. I also go tot catch up with some old ones.It came with the good and the bad. If first semester was this fun. i cant wait till 2nd semester comes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so yea..

valentines day is coming up. hmm i have a competition. its okay though me and martin will do something together. my first valentines day w/ someone. i hope it goes well <3

hit me hard hit me between the eyes i wanna see the stars

laura

left you naked in your bed

2004-01-29T02:36:18Z

new s.n oh no my star

today went by good again :] me and tina got into a fake fight it was funny,she hit me hella hard though. bad tina. lol. practice was hella lame ! bleh !lol oh well. i hope we do good at competiton. its only 3 schools. us bonanza,and western.haha all of the unarmed well that ones that i talked to bout it say that the armed commander at western is pretty.hes okay.got my uniform ready..im gonna shine my shoes tomorrow in class. tee hee.fun times. lol yes

ive been really tired lately and gone to bed hella early too. thats not good. hmm i got an air force mug yesterday. woot woot.ahh i dont have much to say. im such a loser. bye bye
<3

i want you to kno, nothing bout me...
laura

bak to the disaster, my hearts beating faster

2004-01-28T04:05:21Z

its gonna rain tomorrow (thursday) : ]

okay so today went a lot better than other days.school wasnt as bad even though it dragged. i liked lunch.. i like being around martin. he makes me feel happy :). andys hat smells kinda funky :/ i didnt want to try it on. and he has naked chicks on his shoes..took me a while to notice.lol his hat is cool. i accidentaly sat on my soda can and i got soda on my butt. then my dumbass sat on the soday again :/. *blonde moment* oh well. i played w/ felixs red hair.. mauwhahah ! um wat else? i had a blue berry muffin : ]. ah rotc sucked today our mpo sux. hes so dumb.. our pc wasnt there cus shes company commander and had to do something.. gr i wish my class knew how to march it feels like im the only one who knos.

practice was okay i guess. we finally finished the drill we just have to PERFECT it.yay !lol

i finished the roll of camera :)

gosh. it really bugs me when people use some stupid excuse to use stupid things.i kno and i kno that they kno its hurtin them and it hurts me to see them hurt themseleves i hate seing people i care bout hurt themselves really stupidly. he says hes gonna stop but its an addiction . i just hope hes okay.. im always there for him though <3

worst excuse of my life,
laura
<3

xstars_will_cry @ 2004-01-25T21:45:00

2004-01-26T05:54:18Z

DO THIS NOW !!!!!!!
01: what is your first memory of me:
02: how long have we been friends:
03: tell about one memory we share together:
04: describe me in four adjectives:
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
06: name one thing you really don't like about me:
07: name one thing you really do like about me:
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be:
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what:
10: have we ever hugged:
11: have we ever danced with each other:
12: have you ever seen me cry:
13: have i ever offended you:
14: what is something embarrassing that i've done:
15: what do i usually look like when you see me:
16: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase:
17: do you think we will be friends in 5 years:
18: do you think i am bitchy:
19: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't:
20: what advice would you give me, in general:
21: wanna make out:
22: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to:
23: is there a song that reminds you of me:

today was a fun day..
me and martin went to see 'win a date with tad hamilton' it was a sweet movie i cried in the end... lol. i love that movie. then after that we saw a little of big fish. hmm i love it when martin holds me : ]. then we went to his house and hang well i gots to go !! tee hee
ill updtae more bout today tomorrow

<33
laura

xstars_will_cry @ 2004-01-24T12:56:00

2004-01-24T21:06:22Z

my daddy got me new shoes <3

woot woot im so cool.lol

went to drill practice..me and samaria made up a new move :) it was fun.

spent the nite at ashleys fri. nite.. woo we played dress up..lol and took pictures. i love her to death <3

umm no movies w/ dad today..oh well

so yea..thats all for now
mad <3
laura

do do dod od od od od od

2004-01-23T06:15:31Z

umm the subject has no meaning ...exaclty.

i get to spend the nite at mrxmikexfetish woo im soo happy..havent beent there in freaking forever ..i love that girl soo much. shes the homie !

i get to go to the movies w/ my dad again this weekend.. woot woot !

so yea.. nothing really to talk bout.. i want to type up my essay for english in here cus i think its really good..ill do that later..maybe ..next post..but i gotta go to bed..gots to wake up early.

laura

dozen of faces in the corner.....

2004-01-23T01:26:06Z

ahh i have a lot of homework to do

this sux

<3

oh now shes not a secret..now..

2004-01-22T01:40:36Z

today was a good day.. well sort of..

careers sux. i hate ms murray..grr.

on 'c' days i dont have 2nd lunch no more i have 1st..

i had a lot of chocolate today :}

after school unarmed gave jose a make over..he finally got in touch w/ his feminine side
'god he feels like a woman' haha chief sayed he was pretty ugly and commander syas hes gonna get us dolls ! lol

.. so thats pretty much all that happened ..